


Santa Tell Me

by the_only_education_worth_having



Series: Advent Calendar of Fics [22]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Confessions of love, F/M, Fluff, Love, Worry, advent calendar of fics, new relationships, panic attack symptoms, upset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28109307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_only_education_worth_having/pseuds/the_only_education_worth_having
Summary: But it's hard to tell if this is just a fling or if it's true love that he thinks of
Relationships: Tom Holland (Actor)/Reader, Tom Holland (Actor)/You
Series: Advent Calendar of Fics [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042707
Kudos: 3





	Santa Tell Me

**Author's Note:**

> Santa Tell Me - Ariana Grande [x]

As I put the finishing touches on my make up there was a knock on my office door.   
‘Come in,’ I said as I closed the compact I had been using and put it back in my desk drawer. A mop of brown hair poked through followed by a handsome face. It was Tom.   
‘Hey,’ he said, ‘can I come in?’   
‘Sure,’ I said standing up and smoothing out my dress as he came into the room.   
‘You ready for the party?’ he said and I nodded.   
‘As I’ll ever be,’ I chuckled grabbing my purse off of my table and turning off the lamp that was on it. He waited by the door for me. I had stayed behind after work to catch up on some paperwork before the winter break. I figured there was no point going home and then coming back to the office for the annual Christmas party when I could stay on and get some work done. 

I hadn’t been sure about this year’s party. Last year hadn’t gone very well as I had had a bit too much to drink and gone a bit overboard with the karaoke. It had been the talk of the office the next day. Fortunately, this one was on the Friday before the office broke up for the holiday so if anything did go awry I would have at least a couple of weeks to hide from the shame. 

‘So what are Christmas parties like here?’ Tom asked as we walked down the corridor to the lift. He was new to the company having arrived during the summer so had never enjoyed one of the company's famous holiday shindigs. It also meant he wasn’t privy to my antics last year.  
‘They’re okay,’ I said as we entered the lift, ‘they have good food and the bosses fork out for a free bar which is nice.’  
‘I bet that goes down well,’ he chuckled.  
‘Yeah,’ I said feebly hoping he didn’t notice my blushing. He looked at me and smiled which I reciprocated though it made me feel an odd sensation in my stomach as I looked at him. He was cute. Really cute and I had quite the crush on him. Since he had started with the company he had taken to me like a duck to water. He sought me out almost immediately. He was friendly, nice and looking for allies on the company floor. He made me laugh and we flirted quite a bit. My day was better for seeing him at the office and he seemed to feel the same way about me but I wasn’t sure. 

I didn’t trust my feelings for him. They seemed too fast. Too overwhelming. It was like a schoolgirl crush. And it made me feel reluctant to take it anywhere. I had learned quite a bit about Tom in his time with us and I had found out he had bounced around a bit climbing the corporate ladder by jumping from company to company. I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t jump at the next opportunity that came up and leave me devastated if I was left in the lurch. 

The doors opened and we were on the first floor where the biggest function room was. As we entered we saw it had been transformed into the perfect corporate holiday party wonderland. There was a table full of food and a bar set up in the corner of the room. There were sporadic tables set up throughout the room though they had made room for a makeshift dancefloor if things got too rowdy. 

‘This actually looks okay,’ Tom marvelled as he took in the scene.  
‘Yeah it’s alright,’ I agreed, ‘though it will be chalked full of people you’ve never met.’  
‘Like Janice from accounts?’ he chuckled.  
‘Or Mark in finance,’ I replied.   
‘People you never see apart from at these get-togethers?’  
‘Exactly,’ I chuckled. 

We moved into the room and got situated. Tom got us a couple of drinks and a plate of food and we got acquainted with other people who had sat at the same table we had. The bosses did a couple of speeches and then offered us all a secret Santa gift before the music took over and everyone got a bit merrier. Tom and I socialised and drank the night away before we took to the dance floor. We had just finished joining in with ‘Sweet Caroline’ before the DJ switched it up to a slow song. Tom looked at me with a crooked smile and then grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. His hand snaked around my waist and pulled me flat against him. He was warm and smelled of cologne and soap. I smiled and placed my arms up around his neck. We spun around in slow circles, it could barely be called dancing but it was nice. 

‘This is nice,’ he leant down and whispered in my ear.   
‘Mmmhmm,’ I agreed. I looked up at him with a smile before my gaze landed on some of the girls from our floor. They were whispering to one another, ogling us both as if we were something from an alien planet. I immediately felt self-conscious. Tom leaned down to say something but I made him pause as I said, ‘um, I’ve gotta go to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a minute.’ 

Before he could give any rebuttal I practical sprinted across the room and out onto the corridor. I was in a fluster as I tried to recall where the nearest bathroom was. There were a few stragglers out in the hallway who seemed to find it odd that I was practically running past them but I paid them no attention. I finally found the restroom and I dove into the stall and slammed the door behind me. I could feel my heart beating in my chest but I didn’t know if it was due to embarrassment or the fear that I was moving to fast with Tom. 

He was very sweet, and I liked dancing with him but I worried about being seen together. Gossip spread like wildfire around this office and the last thing I needed was everyone sniggering when we failed to work out. I was overwhelmed. When I came out of the stall the restroom was deserted which I was thankful for. I stood in front of the mirror and observed myself. I hadn’t noticed on my exit from the party that I had been crying and I now had smudges of black underneath my eyes. I grabbed a paper towel and dabbed them with a splash of cold water and then I tended to my snotty nose. After smoothing out my dress and hair I rested on the sink for a moment trying to get enough courage to go back out there. I knew Tom would ask what was wrong with me and I didn’t know what to say to him. 

‘Get your shit together,’ I muttered to myself. Then I made my way out of the restroom and into the corridor.   
‘I wondered how long you’d be,’ came a voice from behind me. I turned to find Tom loitering on the other side of the door frame where I hadn’t seen him as I turned out of the bathroom. 

‘Hey,’ I said with a forced smile.  
‘Come on,’ he said nodding his head down the corridor. He held his and out for me to hold which I took tentatively. He led me down the corridor and outside to a small balcony which was normally reserved for smokers. He rested against the cold metal railing and looked out to the city skyline which was littered with bright lights. I stayed back near the fire exit shifting nervously from foot to foot. 

‘So, you going to tell me why you sprinted out of there so quickly or do I have to guess?’   
‘Tom,’ I sighed but he continued.  
‘What? Are you going to pretend that you didn’t just desert me in there? Or that you didn’t look completely freaked out when you came out of the bathroom?’   
‘Okay, I suppose that’s true,’ I said coming up to stand next to him, ‘I got a little freaked out.’  
‘You think?’ he said looking at me with a smirk.   
‘Okay a lot freaked out,’ I admitted.  
‘So what was it?’   
‘What?’   
‘What freaked you out? Was it that you don’t like slow dancing? That Janet from accounts might have seen us?’ 

‘No, no, nothing like that,’ I said, ‘okay, maybe everyone being able to see us together freaked me out a little but it’s not because I don’t like being seen with you-’  
‘Could’ve fooled me,’ he scoffed.   
‘It’s not you, it’s-  
‘It’s not you, it’s me right?’ he sighed, ‘if you want to end this just say.’  
‘No. And honestly, it’s not you. It’s totally me. Completely my issue but it affects you too and I know that.’  
‘So what is it?’ he said turning to look at me completely.   
‘It’s just that. Um, how do I explain it… it’s like I’m that ad it’s not just for Christmas,’ I mumbled.   
‘What the dog advert?’   
‘Yeah! I worry that this isn’t going to,’ he looked at me with puppy dog eyes that caused a lump in my throat, ‘last.’  
‘Why?’ he said.   
‘It’s complicated,’ I said walking away from him. I rested my back against the railing and suddenly felt how cold it was as the metal hit me through my dress.   
‘Try,’ he said.

‘Look I’ve been down this road before. I’ve fallen in love with guys I really adored and then they’ve up and left when I thought it was forever. And with you moving around so much like you have it just gets me on edge. I mean, sure you like me now but what happens if you move companies or move across the god damn world would you want me then? And then I think of that and I get overwhelmed because what if I put in all the effort and love and-’  
‘You get your heart broken?’ he said and I nodded, ‘Isn’t that the fun?’  
‘You think it’s fun getting your heart broken?’ I said and he smiled.   
‘No, but I think that you can’t be scared of loving people just because it might go wrong.’  
‘Rationally I know that but internally,’ I threw my hands up in the air, ‘I don’t know. And then you go and be all perfect by asking me to dance. Then everyone’s watching and making me feel even more self-conscious because what if we do split up and then everyone’s talking about poor Y/N-’ 

My voice was cut off by his lips on mine. I tensed up as he kissed me but eventually, I relaxed into and allowed him to deepen it. I pulled him toward me and kissed him as if my life depended on it. Finally, he pulled back and looked at me with that crooked smile. I smiled back and then shivered, not having realised how cold it was. Tom chuckled. 

‘Look,’ he said standing up straight and looking down at me, ‘I can’t promise we’re destined to be together forever but I can promise that I will always try my best to love you as much as I do now.’  
‘You love me?’ I gasped. It was the first time he had said it to me.   
‘I do,’ he smiled.   
‘I love you too,’ I replied.


End file.
